


Storm

by rosexwald



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, I don't know what else, i am exploring more brotherly feelings if you will, i just want to clarify that the relationship in this fic is no way sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4186245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosexwald/pseuds/rosexwald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Kanae is scared of thunderstorm, and seeks comfort with Shuu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Storm

Kanae was already asleep when first raindrops banged against the windowsill, large and heavy. It was cloudy for a couple of days now, and the rain swelled in dark, lazily drifting clouds, to now fall onto earth with all its might. The wind started howling through the garden behind the Tsukiyama mansion, bending carefully groomed trees, and sweeping leaves into the fountains.

Dull but constant sound of rain, growing louder within minutes, managed to wake Kanae up. The boy sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, and looked towards the window. Glass seemed to move as water flowed down the panes, and knocking of the raindrops caused a shiver to ran through Kanae’s spine, sounding as if some uninvited guest was just right outside.

That day… they came at night too.

But he was safe here. There was a tall fence around the mansion, and his room was on the first floor, so surely there was no one outside. With that thought, Kanae scrambled out of sheets, his legs dangling from the bed, before he hopped soundlessly onto the carpeted floor. He walked over to the window, looking outside at the garden, large greenhouse was barely visible through the curtain of rain. That was where the roses were, and Kanae was glad they’re protected from such heavy storm.

Just as he thought that, a flash turned night into day for a single heartbeat, followed by a thunder that rumbled loudly, causing windowpanes to shudder with a slight clatter.

Kanae gasped, making couple steps back, and in an instant, another thunder resounded, silver crack running across the sky, splitting the clouds in half. It seemed that the world will shatter.

The boy rushed back to his bed, crawling under the covers, and clutching onto his pillow tightly. Tears prickled his eyes when he squeezed them tightly shut, trying to go back to sleep. When he will wake up in the morning, the storm will most probably be over.

But as he lay there, minutes passing, turning into a whole hour, he couldn’t fall asleep, and the storm didn’t seem to be passing either. Every time he would become sleepy again, head heavy on the pillow, breath even and calmer, his room would brighten suddenly, and loud thunder would follow, making him yelp as his hair stood on end.

Miss Matsumae was always telling him that he’s a big boy, and that he shouldn’t cry, but he couldn’t help it now. He was scared, and he didn’t want to be alone. Nine years old wasn’t that big, no matter how you looked at it.

After another thunder, so loud that Kanae had to cover his ears as he whimpered and sobbed, he made up his mind. Big boy or not, he didn’t want to be alone.

His small feet paced across the carpet, quiet click of the door as he unlocked them, and he was out on the hallway, dark and empty. This house was so big, much bigger than the one back in Germany. For a moment Kanae feared that he won’t find the right way, all those corridors and rooms… But otherwise, he would have to go back to his bedroom, and be alone. That thought pushed him further into the first floor hall.

Library, music room, Miss Matsumae’s bedroom, second living room, guest room… Kanae passed all of those, counting doors in his mind, and finally, he thought he was in the right place. As quietly as he could, he turned the doorknob with his small hand, and opened the two-winged door to Shuu’s bedroom, tip-toeing inside.

Just as he closed the door behind himself, Shuu’s room brightened up, revealing his sleeping form in the large canopy bed. Kanae quickly covered his mouth with his hand, knowing that the following thunder will tear a sob from him. Even if he was a bit shy to come here, this made him waddle towards Shuu’s bed as quickly as he could.

He wondered how should he call him… those honorifics were a bit complicated. He didn’t think he could call him by just his name, because he didn’t hear anyone else ever do it… After a moment he decided to just speak like all other servants, because he was told he will become one now, too. So that must be alright.

“Shuu… sama.” he spoke in small, hushed voice. Tsukiyama didn’t even stir. “Shuu-sama?” the boy repeated a bit louder.

Shuu’s nose wrinkled a little, and he pressed his face into the pillow, “Mhm, five more minutes… so early…” he mumbled.

“Shuu-sama, please wake up.” Kanae’s voice grew desperate as a couple of smaller thunders were heard in the distance.

On that, Tsukiyama regained his consciousness, reaching to pull off the black sleeping mask that was covering his eyes. He was surprised to see that it’s still dark outside, and he frowned sleepily, blinking as his clouded eyes made up a shape of little Kanae standing next to his bed. Eyes glassy and a snot hanging underneath his nose, the kid trembled like a leaf, even though he had a warm pyjama made of pure cotton (Shuu picked it himself).

“Kanae-kun… what’s wrong? What are you doing here?” Shuu sat up, scratching his head sleepily.

The wordless answer came as another loud thunder caused the boy to squeal weakly, tears swelling in the corners of his eyes. And those eyes looked up at Tsukiyama with silent, bashful, but desperate plea.

“Oh… the storm. It’s a little scary, hm?” Shuu smiled down at the boy with his most graceful, dimpled smile. “But fear not, mon petite! Come here, I will let you into a little secret.” he said, scooting over and making room for Kanae to crawl into bed with him.

Once the boy was settled next to him, Shuu pulled the covers over his lap to make him comfy, and adjusted a pillow for him.

“What secret?” Kanae asked, sniffling and wiping a tear away with his sleeve.

“Have you ever heard of Don Quixote?” Tsukiyama answered the question with a question.

“Um… no. What is this?” the boy inquired.

“Not what, but who. Don Quixote was a knight, and he fought… windmills.” Shuu spoke in a thrilled voice.

“That’s silly. Knights fight scary things, like dragons. Windmills are not scary.” Kanae raised his eyebrow, and even a little smile started to form on his lips, but then he yelped as another thunder was heard.

“Ah, you see, but they were scary for him. He thought that windmills are giants, even though they were harmless, and not scary at all for other people. Sometimes things that are not really dangerous or bad, scare someone nonetheless. That’s why you’re really lucky, because just as Don Quixote was the knight for windmills, I myself am the knight for thunderstorms.” Shuu flashed Kanae a cheeky smile, theatrically pressing a hand to his chest and bowing his head.

“Are you really?” the boy questioned.

“Yes, of course! It’s a serious title.” the older ghoul raised his chin proudly, “So you don’t have to fear, because I am here to protect you, little rose prince.” And with that, Shuu reached to his nightstand for a handkerchief, and wiped Kanae’s face, helping him blow his nose.

“C-Can I stay here, then?” Kanae averted his eyes, blushing a little, “So you will protect me?”

“Of course.” Shuu couldn’t help but soften, feeling stinging in his chest that was surprisingly pleasant. “You know, Kanae-kun, there is a book about Don Quixote. If you can’t sleep, we could read it together.”

“I’m not reading very good in Japanese…” the boy admitted.

“Then I will read it to you. Would you like that?” Tsukiyama ran his hand through Kanae’s violet hair, petting him soothingly.

“Yes. Please.” again those eyes, round and big, so trusting… Should he have such pure, trusting eyes after all that happened to him?

“Alright. Can you be brave for just one more moment while I go to the library to bring it? I promise I won’t leave you alone anymore.” Shuu slowly climbed out of bed, tucking Kanae in comfortably.

“Yes.” the boy nodded, a bit uncertainly, glancing towards the window where the rain still banged against the glass loudly.

This bed was so big and comfy, and warm… and it smelled like Shuu-sama, who was really pretty and good. Come to think of it, he really was like a knight, because in tales they always say knights are fair. Shuu was without a doubt the fairest person Kanae has ever seen. Maybe except for mother, but this was different.

Before he could think of it properly, Shuu was back with the book, settling in bed close to him. Lamp on the nightstand was switched on, calm, golden light chasing away the shadows, and even cold rain seemed less threatening now.

“Oh, that’s a thick book…” Kanae admired, taking the leather-covered volume into his hands carefully.

“It is. It will take us a few stormy nights to finish it.” Shuu opened the book, but kept it on Kanae’s lap so that he could see the text.

“So… next time… when there is a storm, I can come here?” the boy didn’t look up at the older ghoul, pretending he was focusing on all the kanji he didn’t know, trying to hide his blush.

“Of course. That is my duty as a knight, to protect _den kleinen Prinzen_.” Tsukiyama wrapped his arm around Kanae’s shoulder, “Shall we start.”

After the boy nodded, leaning against Shuu slightly, the ghoul began reading. Although at first, his voice was breaking a little. The odd, warm stinging in his chest was there again. So nice.

“In a village of La Mancha, the name of which I have no desire to call to mind, there lived not long since one of those gentlemen that keep a lance in the lance-rack, an old buckler, a lean hack, and a greyhound for coursing…”

Kanae was listening intensely, clutching at Shuu’s arm whenever the thunder would rumble menacingly, but the closeness, and his smell, and his soothing voice, calmed him down gradually. Five chapters later, the boy’s breath evened, and he dozed off, snoozing peacefully against Shuu.

The older ghoul carefully closed the book, putting it away on the nightstand, and he gently lowered Kanae down onto pillows. Brushing his hair away from his face, he pressed a kiss to his forehead, and lied down himself.

It felt so good. To have someone trust him like this. To make someone feel safe.

Shuu’s arms cradled Kanae close, and the boy’s small palms held onto his pyjama, clutching at the fabric.

They slept soundly, undisturbed by thunders.

 

* * *

 

 

Indeed many nights they have spent on Don Quixote. To just read it would be much quicker, but Kanae was interested in all the kanji he couldn’t recognize, tracing their shapes with his finger over the duvet, as Shuu would tell him what they mean.

As they finished this story, summer came, and thunderstorms were occurring much more often. But Tsukiyamas’ library was large, and the bookshelves were tall up to the ceiling, and Shuu was more than glad to pass his vast knowledge of literature onto someone who listen with such genuine interest.

Another thing, although he would never admit it out loud, was that incredibly pleasant feeling, the clutching in his chest and warmth... Only when this child’s head would lean against his arm, his small palms touching his own as they turned the pages, he would get to feel like this.

As time passed, the books they were reading got longer, and Kanae grew taller, taking slightly more space in Shuu’s bed year after year. But even so, they didn’t stop their little ritual. They would always read together on the stormy nights, until they were too sleepy to keep their eyes open. And even as Kanae was older, Shuu never told him to go back to sleep in his own bed. This was making the young ghoul happy, because Shuu had school during the day, and he himself also attended some classes, in between his duties as a servant… it really could get lonely sometimes.

Matsumae was kind and smart, and she was teaching him many things, but when he was upset or cried, she was telling him that big boys shouldn’t cry. Even if she would comfort him, it was always only a brief hug.

And apart from that, he didn’t have anyone close around, and his family was gone… It really could get lonely.

But Shuu would hold him, and spend time with him, and never told him to go away even if he was really tired and sleepy.

“Don’t you think I’m too old to be scared of thunders?” Kanae asked one night, just couple weeks before his fifteenth birthday, “Matsumae-sama says I will be a man soon.”

“Do _you_ think you’re too old?” Shuu replied, curling a strand of violet hair behind Kanae’s ear, “Because if she is not scared, she won’t understand. Only you can tell about your fears.”

“You won’t be mad at me if I tell you something?” the boy’s voice turned hushed, uncertain.

“Not ever.” the answer came.

“I’m not scared anymore.” Kanae admitted, “For a long time now, I’m not scared. After we finished Don Quixote, I realized that thunderstorms weren’t scary anymore. I was excited when such stormy night came, because I wanted us to read together again.”

“I know.” Shuu smiled, “I figured after a while.”

“Y-You know? Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted us to read together, too.”

 

* * *

 

Kanae’s birthday was in winter. He turned fifteen that year.

When spring came, first thunderstorm came with it.

Kanae stood by Shuu’s bed, his face damp with tears, not caring that his nose was dripping.

“I’m so scared, Shuu-sama…” he whimpered, reaching to take the older ghoul’s hand that rested limply on the covers. He squeezed the soft palm with his own, smaller one, his fingers trembling.

A lightning brightened up the room, sneaking even under the canopy of Tsukiyama’s bed, making his face clearly visible in the darkness. Just for a single heartbeat. Kanae didn’t even flinch at the thunder that followed. Thunders weren’t scary anymore.

It was the sight of Shuu’s face that made him tremble. Expressionless, numb. Empty, unfocused eyes. His cheeks were so hollow, he lost so much weight. You never hear tales of knights that lose their battles. Do fallen knights look like this?

“I’m so scared…”

The book they started reading not so long ago, lay on the nightstand, marked somewhere in the middle. They didn’t finish yet.

“Please eat something. I… I found you something good. It was my first… my first hunt. But I did everything like you taught me. Please… please eat.”

Again, no answer. He would just stare into space, drool gathering in the corner of his slightly parted lips.

“I know I have to be brave. For you. You need this now…” Kanae choked on a sob, “But I am so scared…” He felt guilty. All he wanted now was for Shuu to hold him, and tell him it will be alright. This was selfish thinking. It was his turn to be a knight now, and he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t do anything to help Shuu, to make him better. Nothing to fulfil his heart.

Loud thunder rumbled somewhere close, but Kanae wasn’t scared of it. There were much scarier things in the world than windmills that only pretend to be giants.

“I don’t know how to help you. I can’t make you better.”

He said it out loud. It was terrifying.

 


End file.
